"It’s not about giving orders or letting them work off a rigid system or program"
As you may know, I come from the horses, and I’ve committed to share what I have learned from these beautiful animals, as I believe their wisdom is universal. So what goes for horses, applies to us as well.
Just training and re-conditioning horses has never been enough for me. Being in the horse business for the last 25 years, I progressively began to understand the importance of focusing more on the person behind each horse.
When people know what they’re doing, it gives them more confidence and security and helps a lot more horses in the long run. And besides, it’s just math. When I help 5 horses I may end up having helped no horse, whereas when I help 5 people, I might end up helping 20 horses.
It took me a long time to grasp the importance of teaching people the right way. It’s not about giving orders or letting them work off a rigid system or program, as I still see many trainers do. In fact, it’s not about that at all.
Instead, it’s about getting in tune with that person and getting him ready to figure things out on his own. So, it’s not even about teaching, but rather about preparing the stage.
Change Their State By Getting Connected
I never think about teaching the horse anything in the first place. All I am concerned about is getting the horse into the right state of mind, where it’s capable of learning. That’s a huge difference. Once they reach that state of cooperation, everything is possible and I mean, everything.
I believe that we can only communicate with someone on a deep level if we can connect with his or her deepest needs. It all boils down to how well we are connected with our inner being.
So, how can we do that in a tangible and practical way?
1. Don’t expect to reach into your core on an intellectual level. It’s not going to happen. Ever!
2. Be open and willing to be connected to your inner being. It’s as simple as it sounds, and yet many people never reach that state of mental submission as it takes humility, honesty and a lot of trust in the process.
3. Be courageous to follow your heart. That’s what the word Courage actually means. Connecting yourself implies that you know that there is some kind of knowledge beyond yourself where you have permanent access to. It’s knowing without knowing.
The first evidence for being connected is, that you become more in tuned with your inner voice. Then, as you start listening and trusting your voice more, you will become more sensitive to the needs of others and be able to act upon it. That’s the real beauty of it. You no longer have to guess what others need, you just know it, intuitively.
The best evidence for being connected, however is the reflection you experience in the outer world. Not only will you look at things in a complete different way, but people around you will mirror your energy - happiness, lightness, peace and love and you may wonder where all those folks come from... You have not seen them before, because the energy you radiated was rather disconnecting than anything else.
Great Leaders follow their intuition
To me, intuition is a feel that we all have and that we all need, if we want to connect.
I’m not talking about that emotional feel, that sometimes meets and greets us at different times and places, but about a feel that goes beyond our fragile sensitivities. It’s more of a constant intuitive current that keeps us connected with our core. It’s always there and we know it, no matter how we feel at the moment. A strong sense of certainty, which is the number one ingredient for self trust. That trust will carry over to every being we come in contact with and helps them relax. Intuition and trust are like twins. They belong to each other as much as the ocean and the shore.
Everybody has to learn to rely and follow his own intuition. Our job as good teachers is to encourage our students to find that connection in themselves that allows them to connect with their horses and people.
"I want people to trust themselves, because when I know that they know, I know they can change."
The moment we follow that feel and start believing in ourselves, we take over our responsibility. We begin to trust ourselves, develop courage and take on challenges that used to be a huge obstacle before.
Self trust creates momentum that will carry you above and beyond your wildest dreams and equips you with a power that you never thought you had. So, if you want to help people grow, help them get connected.
The most influential people, for that matter are the ones who are deeply connected with themselves and who follow their intuition. Their charisma is nothing but the result of their inner balance and authenticity.
Authenticity Is Contagious
The #1 reason, why horses and people are magnetically drawn to authentic people is because they radiate clarity and safety. There is complete harmony between their inner being and their outward expression. There is simply no conflict that could cause confusion, anxiety or fear. That’s why it’s important to really hit that post in the ground before we even think about teaching or training anyone. If you are the one who can provide clarity, safety and consistency to a horse or a person, you will most likely end up with a great companion that is willing to go the extra mile for you.
Attitude is the root for any kind of behavior and it’s the place to start when we want to initiate change in ourselves and in others.
Change Starts At The Root
Our attitude is nothing but a mental concept, which is responsible for how we look at things, how we judge others and what kind of decisions we make. The tricky thing about it is that we hardly question it. It runs on automatic, so to speak, mostly without our full awareness. We think we consciously live our lives, when in fact we float on the stream of our conceptions that may have been established decades ago.
"If we ever want our lives to come full circle, we have to move from unconsciousness to consciousness. From being in the flow to becoming the flow ..."
The Truth about Authority and Leadership
Let’s talk about the top rated mis-conception when it comes to teaching, training and leading horses and people:
“Changing behavior is only possible and effective through authority and dominance“.
That this concept is still in high demand, proves my daily work. Horses get punished randomly for every wrong step, they get jerked and yanked on and some have to execute orders as if they were part of the US Marines drill team. For quite some horse owners and trainers, moments of high performance serve as a proof for cooperation and willingness, whereas it’s owed to the broken spirits of their 4 legged servants.
The reason, I believe, why so many people still use that intimidation method is not because they are mean by nature, but simply because they don’t know better.
People only do what they believe is right and what they see other “experts“ do. And besides, it’s a lot easier to follow some kind of authority than to wreck ones own brain about certain things, isn’t it?
"When our desire for quick success gets in conflict with our moral conscience, that’s when we usually stop dead in our tracks and question what we do."
Truth is, the most influential leaders of our time, the ones that bring out the best in us, seldom use plain authority, nor do they practice dominance. They intuitively know, that
they can only be of influence if they radiate empathy, clarity and consistency - which, I believe are the key ingredients for communication, change and deep transformation. With authority only, you certainly get a lot of things done. We’ve all seen it, but you will never get that connection that makes things look so beautiful, so natural, so easy, so much in a flow, and beyond that you will never get that extra mile ...
The Price For Change
People ask me how long it takes to change one’s attitude and I tell them that it’s not so much about actively changing something, as it is about allowing things to develop on their own. People often mistake that for being passive and that keeps a lot of folks being closed up for a life - changing process, that is far more precious than everything they have ever dreamed of.
The second hold up and this is, I believe, the biggest one, is the price for change. We want it all but we are not always willing to pay adequate value for it.
We want instant change that fits our low budget thinking and we are scared to death of taking a deep dive into our souls, which would take us right out of our comfort zone.
We may have to give up strong habits, leave old friends, find a new job or even question everything we have done before. When called to get out of our own way, we often ignore the path of true freedom and make hollow peace with our ordinary lives, unless we have nothing to lose ...
It’s easier for those who have already lost what was dear to them, for they have what it takes to put their lives on the line for a life that knows no equal.
Once you have accepted and embraced your calling, which is expressing your truth, you will never be the same! Every person and every horse, you come in contact with, will be influenced by your positive energy. Just imagine the snowball effect that it will have on the world...
So, if you’re not doing it for yourself, do it for us. We need you!
